Ah, I forget it like it was tomorrow...
My blog squeaked and squealed into life, covered in blood and placenta (completely ruining my keyboard) and trembled into the Internet with a resounding "ploop!"
This isn't my first blog, I had one for school (school: noun; meaning place to steal toilet paper from, typically has couches to sleep on, and chicks with low self esteem) those were the days.
It's day three of my trip to Cape Breton, filling in as a camera-man for a fellow over here. I'm about to head over to New Waterford (I was at the Old Waterford yesterday...Yikes...am I right?) to look for foxes, baby foxes, possibly wearing human clothes, hugging human toys and making that little "mew mew, cough cough sniffle" sound. Jealous? I thought so.
Apparently the fox population is booming out of control in New Waterford. Mainly from people feeding foxes to close to home, so they start to breed and birth near humans. Also, they eat cats. Go figure.
They're probably going to look like this, I'll probably let them eat treats out of my hand, might take one home and teach it to be a modern, hip, city fox. Y'know, go to clubs, hit on sexy wolves that he knows he's got no shot with, so he'll settle on some Coyote, thinking only of how his life could have been had he made better choices in college. "But I'll still drag my sorry rump out of bed every morning and stick my face in the reaping machine for one more day. While you hold onto life by the atoms on the tips of your fingers, while life dirty dances on your digits!" He'll be as stressed as I am.
But I digest..
I'm heading out with a reporter to track down the little soul-less ginger creatures, and shoot them.
With my camera silly!
Not wiv bulletz!!111onetwo
That's enough for this post, I'll let you know how it goes.
Back from New Waterford! Found loads of foxes. Took loads of pictures. It'll be on the news tonight, please watch. If you know anybody in New Waterford (And who doesn't) then you should tell them to keep dog food, cat food, people food, garbage, perez hilton, and anything else that smells inside.
Also, putting out a sponge soaked in amonia also helps, foxes hate amonia.
This little guy was living across from a primary-6 school in the area. Lots of kids live around here and these little foxes sure are getting brave. This fox came right up to me, I could have hand fed him if I wanted to. I guess his mom was found dead and he and his siblings are scattered around the school. Sad, but dangerous. Like the women I date. Many of them foxes.
That's all for today, time to write this thing, submit it, and let the magic of television captivate...well, somebody.